(Music: "Without Me", Eminem)
[x2] Three little fillies go 'round the orchard, 'round the orchard, 'round the orchard...
Guess who's back, back again;
Polecat's back, for the win...
Guess who's back,
Guess who's back,
Guess who's back,
Guess who's back,
Guess who's back,
Guess who's back....
[verse 1]
I've created an OC, 'cause nopony wants to
see humans no more, 'cept Lyra sittin' by me,
Well if you want Pony, that's what I'll give ya,
a little bit of "squee" mixed with some hard cider;
A cute little mare that'll stop your heart quicker
than it takes the Apple clan when they start to bicker,
'bout a ship set sail starring your OTP,
set up for ya in advance by the CMC! (Hey!)
You’ve waited this long, so stop complaining,
I’m back to critique and begin rating.
Now I know that you got a job this winter,
but wrap-up is coming, so break out the bitter!
The filly in me won’t let me be or let me see the screen of my PC,
she’s spinnin’ all around to try and see if her cutie mark looks like a tree!
So turn on your set, Season four's on deck,
Buck that, Pinkie's a bet, fourth wall’s gettin' wrecked.
So get ready, because the elements are heavy,
they say friendship is mag-- Hey Look! There's DERPY!
[Chorus x2]
Now this looks like a job for me, so everypony just follow me,
'cause we need a little Harmony, and Polecat's back on EqD.
[verse 2]
A tisk-it a task-it, some balloons in a basket,
party in full swing; punch is Spike'd, just ask it!
Vinyl's dropped the bass and everpony is dancin',
Even Octavia's up on her hooves and prancin'.
Discord and Fluttershy sittin’ in a tree,
I'd recommend that you just leave them be.
And Twilight Sparkle might now be a Princess,
but she's hangin' with Luna drinkin' to excess.
Ol' Sun-Butt's up and shakin' her flank,
harder than a colt would his piggy bank.
And me? I’m back, pollutin’ the airwaves,
singin’ along with that girly main theme!
Tune it in, Youtube watching or livestream,
buying DVDs like I was a crack fiend.
It's interesting, the best thing since wrestling,
gettin' in our heads and makin' us all sing.
Humming one of their catchy little tunes,
until someone notices and thinks you're a loon.
Feel the tension, in ten seconds flat,
but who cares what they think, I got your back!
[Chorus x2]
Now this looks like a job for me, so everypony just follow me,
'cause we need a little Harmony, and Polecat's back on EqD.
----------------
Okay, I admit it, that was silly. Amazing what some random inspiration can cause, isn't it? I ran out of juice before I could do a third verse, so verse 2 and 3 are kinda smooshed together there... Anyway, this is my way of celebrating my triumphant(?) return to Equestria Daily and the Prereaders. I guess they must have been desperate for help, if they recruited me to dig through the backlog...
- Polecat
PS: Because someone will forget if I don't mention it; I DON'T DO COMMISSIONS!